Rear View

I hopped many schools, came across many ppl but made a few friends, joined undergraduate college , got an exodus of darling friends.. But after leaving my alma mater, many imbibed in my ear that in professional world no one makes friends, they are nothing but colleagues, whom you can remember only from 9 to 6... And when I initialised into that world, in a way they were right.....

BUT there is One, sorry that person is indeed a gem, a class of its own, we indeed had a formal professional talks initially but finally he claimed that he made a very good friend after ages. And I am honoured i got a good freind too. . After few years, I don’t know what would be my longitude and latitude degrees? But his gyaan sessions will indeed haunt me

"When u lose, don't lose the lesson"-- "Everything you can imagine is real" --

"Winning is not everything.It is the only thing" --"don’t crib because its over...smile because it happened"--"Oceans are deeep because they never reject small streams" .. Huhhhh Those will remain ever here,Sir i cross my heart for that.......

Yours truly

Abhi

This Post does not brook a title!!!

Dear Blog,

Its been nearly half year since I got an opportunity to ocularly pursuing you. I cut the sorry figure, I do admit that I approach you only when I am beset by melancholic diablos and barbarians....... Then only I key down all that here, huhhh I opine that you have given me the curse of ashino... But on this earth, among gogoool breathing & nonbreathing, volatile & nonvolatile creatures i choose only you.... Few years back I have read Conversation with God series ( sorry i could not get the entire nine books). May be what ever Neal Donald Walsh has experienced, I am feeling the same... Huhhhh I really dont know whether to trust you, what happens to me whenever i login and started a new post, by the time I finished my posts, You have always quenched me, with a virtual reality. But why not this time..... please do .....

Love

Abhi

Staying Standoffish !!!!

Embedding my throes here does not avow that I am inviting everyboby here to lookup my anxieties, emotions or to attract any sort of empathies .... I feel like keying down here (atleast it hushes me for few minutes), so that in future when ever i feel like scanning my past , it should be easily accessible from anywhere....
And there is no mealfeasance in doing this... is it?

Yours Truly

Abhit

Woebegone !!!!

I am trying my utmost to get out of this, but totally helpless. I don’t want to share with anyone, want to assimilate this toxin alone, may be life wants to convey me something. Moi totally a dumb ass don’t have any clue what I am supposed to do further... Hunting for the legitimate and illegitimate, conventional and unconventional reasons, but so far I have not encountered with fruition. This melancholic force is increasing exponentially, and don’t know when I will finally hit the abyss... Presently I am getting swayed because of the Faith force that is pushing me up at times, but the melancholic force that’s dragging me down is gaining more and more gravitational force day by day. And as per Buoyancy I will be floating only when the upward thrust is more than the downward thrust…. The day Melancholic devil is trying hard to make the Faith angel dilapidated, I will get totally thwacked in the quagmire...
But In a corner somewhere, I can smell I will unfurl the victory flag one day.....Lets my fingers crossed for that.. Ammen

Yours Truly
Abhit

Feeling Aboulia!!!

It’s been two weeks since I am beset by "ABOULIA", some says its mental illness, and some adds it as absence of will power... I think it’s logically AND of the above two in my case....
I have been ransacking hard to figure out why I am feeling LOW, but everytime in soliloquies, my inner conscience never quenched me...... Most of the time I indulge myself in fond reverie which is totally ridiculous; engrossed in totally unhealthy activities don’t have any clue how much I can handle it; kept on calculating the no of revolutions/min of my Room’s fan; thinking of approaching psychoanalyst but then stopped my nerves, as what I am going to tell him; don’t feel like doing anything productive; myself don’t have any clue what’s making me feel that; Felling like I have treating like a scapegoat in situations ; I reloaded my brain with my past two weeks activities, so that I can lookup the reason, but everytime it returned a VOID; A while loop which does not have a terminating condition and finally ended in stack overflow; Thought that I would share this with someone but then dropped the idea because myself will invite them for their source of mockery; dialed mumma’s cell, so that I can share with her, but most of the times disconnected, with a thought of bothering them; Tried to share with my GF, but then she wont sleep at all. I feel like letting out this frustration from me, so thought of keying it down here……

Yours Truly
Abhit

Getting Stolid

24th Dec 2005, 10:30 P.M , I was leaving for Paris....
Driver came to pick me at my flat, my flat souls gave me company till INOVA Door....
As I was heading towards Bangalore Airport, after a couple of years, I got the similar kind of feelings when my Dad used to drop me at station during my Engineering, and how i used to sit ideal at the front seat of the car and used to convince myself hard that I wont see my loved one faces for some time. Same happened on that day, but this time I was going to miss my friends........ but i never made them realized..
After reporting at the Air port, suddenly my left hand ransacked that I am not wearing my watch (I wear watch in my right hand). I called Atul and Puneet and narrated them " i had left my watch at flat, and i need it." It was not a mistake i think but it was a deliberate gesture from my end to leave the watch, may be before getting alighted for the flight i want to ocularly perusing their lineaments... They came, handed me the watch and left...
I checked in and was through with immigration rituals at around 11:50 P.M...... I struggled hard to get a chair in the boarding center, but luckily I hit one..... When my eyes witnessed the hour and minute needles, I realized that 24th dec had elapsed and I stepped into 25th Dec and it's my Girl Friends Bday.. She was waiting for my call... I did not know where my mind was revolving, must be in 302 kristal Sunstone........
I called her up, and wished her..... She even wished me for my happy journey... And disconnected the fone. For the very frist time I did not tell her "I am going to miss you".. She was angry over that... I know I am a nut, and do these silly things....I again called her up , but she had switched off her cell...

Context Switch: Few weeks back, some things had realized me that Abhit this is not going to help you at all, stop getting swayed away by emotions ...... because one day we all (Six) have to ply on their own roads...
I cross my heart, i was never ready for it.. but now i have preapared my self , despite what ever happens, I wont get glued so much in my life to any one else..... Its the bloody attachments that becomes ones Achillies heel....
I opine i have got the moral at the right time and planned to stay stolid through rest of my life.....

Abhit