Plead

So much sufferings , so much agonies, so much loss, so much pains, so much curses and so much what not. Its a plead to YOU please allow me to live a normal life . Please i am not demanding something mogul , something illegitimate , something heavenly which YOU can't grant.. All I am kneeling down in front of YOU omniscient, please allow me to live a normal life.. Even my tears of tears have evaporated, i am really unable to tolerate it. Don't You Yourself realize it, they say that YOU hear , but sorry to say I am unable to see it..

SOS SOS SOS

The balance between Sins and Graces

Seriously what wrong I have done, day by day its getting worse and I am seriously not seeing any ray of hope...

They say if someone calls you from the bottom of heart , YOU listen. But I feel now that I am really deprived of this heart that's why You are not listening. I really don't know whom to call for help , but its seriously not at all happening.

May be they are right , I have committed the biggest sins of this cosmos- "breaking the heart". So how I can expect the pleasures, it's said that there is a balance for everything in this life itself , and trust me God I am experiencing that balance mirthfully ..

I just call it QUIT

Logging Off

Just move on

This is not the first time I am hearing this in my life... Many times people who means a lot to me, have pointed me that they have to move on; that's what's life . Like today I just smiled and wished luck ... What else on this milky way I can give them back... Nothing....

I get used to few habits , and it usually does not go easily... I still reach office and write the text "I reached office" , but then realized that ... and discard sending the text message, with strange eerie feelings.

Its just I feel that at times I have been used as rubber, so whenever I served the purpose after that I have been just trashed or flushed ..

Silent Tears

They always say that when people get up every morning they have very big dreams in their eyes. Some dreams of ruling the world, some dreams of becoming an epitome , some dreams of meeting their loved ones, some dreams of cracking the exam inside out, some dreams of making money through stocks, some dreams of getting more bribe, some dreams of solving the critical issues , some dreams of doing every thing, some dreams of taking their girl for long drives, some dreams of giving the proud moment to their parents.. I too had few of such dreams , but now life has placed me on such a patch where when ever I get up , I just only pray that it does not pain at least today. Its really intolerable. I just lock myself in the room and cry that's all , and in the end its my pillow who absorbs all those tears.

I don't know what wrong I have done, that I have been punished in this way... If God, you feel that I am the only accomplice in this galaxy , then where were you when innocent people got killed, where were you when brutal husband slitted their wife just for few thousands, where were you when kids had been made orphan, where were you when people got pedophile, where were you when doctor ignored a dying patient just for not getting the fees, where were you when

a constructor took the life of many people by making a tumble-down bridge !!

May be YOU have different eye for gauging the sins , but YOU don't see the good deeds that I have done .

I have given tears to others but I have also brought more smiles on their faces; they have left me in midriff, but I have always taken them out from the quagmire; they have ashamed me, but i have always praised them.

I just see up and ask YOU why me ? But I never got the answer....

All I can Sorry and but YOU even never listen..

Yours Painful

......

The awful year

Life has been changed, I don't know for what, whether its happening for good or for bad...

An Year ago I was totally different, I used to drink , smoke , care-a-fig type, a very less melancholic, mirthful, but .........

I don't know but from the past one year , its been the most f***ed up patch of my life , I don't know when it will end, but seeing its consequences , I feel I have to live with it or I have to bid final adieu to this life to get out of it.. I am unable to find any solution and neither the Omniscient is providing me any paths . All I think myself like a dilapidated house whose walls are totally cracked and it just wait for the day to amalgamate with the soil.If the things were in my hands I wish i could have done some thing, but things are not .....