Feeling Aboulia!!!

It’s been two weeks since I am beset by "ABOULIA", some says its mental illness, and some adds it as absence of will power... I think it’s logically AND of the above two in my case....
I have been ransacking hard to figure out why I am feeling LOW, but everytime in soliloquies, my inner conscience never quenched me...... Most of the time I indulge myself in fond reverie which is totally ridiculous; engrossed in totally unhealthy activities don’t have any clue how much I can handle it; kept on calculating the no of revolutions/min of my Room’s fan; thinking of approaching psychoanalyst but then stopped my nerves, as what I am going to tell him; don’t feel like doing anything productive; myself don’t have any clue what’s making me feel that; Felling like I have treating like a scapegoat in situations ; I reloaded my brain with my past two weeks activities, so that I can lookup the reason, but everytime it returned a VOID; A while loop which does not have a terminating condition and finally ended in stack overflow; Thought that I would share this with someone but then dropped the idea because myself will invite them for their source of mockery; dialed mumma’s cell, so that I can share with her, but most of the times disconnected, with a thought of bothering them; Tried to share with my GF, but then she wont sleep at all. I feel like letting out this frustration from me, so thought of keying it down here……

Yours Truly
Abhit